Slut-Shaming, Victim Blaming, and Rape Culture: The Dangers of Reading Social Media Comments
By: Abrianna Morales
In this article, we discuss rape culture by looking at two large aspects of it: Slut-shaming and victim blaming. Using examples from social media comments, we see real-life examples of how rape culture influences our worldview. How does the way that our society views sexuality alter the way we perceive sexual assault and survivors? How does that feed into rape culture? Let's talk about it.
Occasionally, when I’m bored, I like to read the comments of Facebook posts or YouTube videos—just to see what other people throughout the world think about different social issues, new innovations, or the most recent news coverage. Isn’t that the beauty of social media? Getting to see what Gertrude, 67, of Connecticut thinks of that new restaurant in New York City that exclusively serves cookie dough? Yes.
Unfortunately, though, the comments section also has a much darker side. Typically, not on videos or articles about cookie dough, but on more serious topics, like sexual assault, domestic violence, or child abuse. For instance, I was watching coverage of the Larry Nassar trial and listening to the powerful victim impact statements of various survivors—and I once again decided to read the comments. Amid the outpouring of support for these brave young women were comments like these:
“Gymnastics is no different than POLE DANCING and STRIPPING. Girls jumping around half naked being judged on how well they can hold a SEX position. NO DIFFERENT!... If you play with fire, you will get burned. Why would you allow your precious daughter exposing herself to such a thing?”
And comments like these aren’t uncommon; they can be found on almost any post, article, video, etc. that discusses sexual assault, or sexual assault survivors.
These comments are referring to a news story regarding a female teacher having raped a male student:
“I wonder what school is like these days. With all the stories of these women having sex with their students (sometimes multiple students), I’ll bet these kids are trying to become the next ‘victim’ every day.”
“How could he snitch on the best thing that happened to him? What an idiot.”
All of these comments—each one—reflect an unfair and toxic view of sexuality, criminal sexual assault, and survivors. These comments display our society’s tendency to perpetuate rape culture, slut-shaming, and victim-blaming, all at once.
There’s really so much to be said about how our society views sexuality (and slut-shaming), and how that influences victim blaming; but first, we’ll start by defining those two things.
Slut-shaming: The action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.
Victim blaming: A devaluing act where the victim of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment is held as wholly or partially responsible for the wrongful conduct committed against them.
These two concepts, though separate, are almost always seen together (especially when it comes to sexual assault)—but the relation between blaming the victim and shaming the apparent behavior of said victim can be found anywhere. Like, an instance where someone’s home is burglarized after they forgot to lock the door before leaving to work. The news article is released the next day, some people are talking about it over dinner, and they say:
“Well, they left the door unlocked—what did they expect to happen? They were kind of asking for it.”
“They used to be my neighbors. They’re so forgetful and irresponsible, no wonder this happened to them. Frankly, they deserved it.”
This is victim blaming.
Ultimately, the responsibility for what happened (the burglary) falls on the burglar. Right? Right. It doesn’t matter if the door was wide open, or even if there was a bright neon sign sitting on the front porch that said, “WE HAVE A LOT OF EXPENSIVE JEWELRY AND ELECTRONICS IN THIS HOUSE, THE DOOR MAY OR MAY NOT BE OPEN,” because no matter what the circumstances are, it’s illegal and unethical to burglarize a home. But still, we tend to blame victims and attribute the actions of someone else (like, a burglar) to the apparent behavior of the victim (even though it’s irrelevant in the context of the crime/wrongdoing).
In many ways, this scenario with a burglary very closely follows the victim blaming and slut-shaming of a sexual assault survivor.
Take the first comment I mentioned in the article:
“Gymnastics is no different than POLE DANCING and STRIPPING. Girls jumping around half naked being judged on how well they can hold a SEX position. NO DIFFERENT!... If you play with fire, you will get burned. Why would you allow your precious daughter exposing herself to such a thing?”
In this particular case, Larry Nassar, a doctor, repeatedly sexually assaulted several young women—many of them were Olympic gymnasts. This comment isn’t too far off from some of the judgments made about the burglary I mentioned before.
Sexual assault is illegal and unethical. The responsibility for the sexual assault falls entirely on Larry Nassar. Yet, the victims are still blamed and held responsible for the actions of the perpetrator—because, in the eyes of this commenter, they were gymnasts who are no different than strippers and pole dancers, just because they compete wearing leotards. And because of that, they were somehow asking for the abuse.
In essence, this commenter’s mindset towards how or why sexual assault occurs is completely centered on blaming the victim, and attributing the actions of someone else (like, a perpetrator) to the apparent behavior of the victim. In this person’s eyes, a young woman who wears something like a leotard is too sexy and promiscuous—and their willingness to dress that way is the reason that they were sexually assaulted, and that it’s all their fault. This is a perfect example of how slut-shaming and victim blaming are so closely related.
Promiscuity, revealing clothing, sexuality, or even knowledge about sexuality are never an excuse to sexually assault another person. No stripper, pole dancer, prostitute, or even gymnast is at fault for the actions of a perpetrator. The belief that someone’s sexuality directly influences their probability of being sexually assaulted is not only incorrect, but it is toxic.
This toxic perspective of sexuality and promiscuity isn’t limited to the slut-shaming of females, but also extends into the way that male survivors are treated when they come forward as sexual assault victims. While females are judged for being open about their sexuality, males are judged for any aversion to sex.
Again, let’s talk about the comments I mentioned earlier, referencing a female teacher having raped a male student.
“I wonder what school is like these days. With all the stories of these women having sex with their students (sometimes multiple students), I’ll bet these kids are trying to become the next ‘victim’ every day.”
“How could he snitch on the best thing that happened to him? What an idiot.”
In this situation, the victim was a male and the perpetrator was a female. With the assumption and perception that males are supposed to enjoy sexual activity, these comments shame the student for coming forward and speaking up about being sexually assaulted. These beliefs about male sexuality and behavior are invalidating of the abuse this boy endured because they continue to assume that he “wanted it.”
Though he is not outwardly blamed for being sexually assaulted by his teacher, he is blamed and shamed for not enjoying it, coming forward, and not adhering to the popular belief that being sexually assaulted by an older woman is an accomplishment for young men, but rather, a traumatizing experience.
Implying that being raped by a female teacher is “the best thing that happened to him” veils the reality of the situation—this male survivor is just that: a survivor. There is no such thing as consensual sex between an adult and a child, or a teacher and a student; the unfortunate trauma this male survivor went through is not recognized as trauma, but is viewed as a successful, desirable conquest. In reality, it is not. It is sexual assault—it is not a rite of passage and it is no one’s fault, aside from the perpetrator.
As you can see, our society’s preconceived notions of people’s promiscuity (or lack thereof) heavily influence the way people perceive sexual assault and sexual assault survivors—unfairly holding them accountable for the behaviors of perpetrators, due to unfairly drawn conclusions about responsibility when it comes to sexual violence.
Now, how does this tie into rape culture?
Rape culture: A society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.
Slut-shaming and victim blaming, as attitudes that invalidate survivors while validating the actions of perpetrators, directly feed into rape culture within our society. With the ultimate desire to end rape culture, we must first address the continually negative attitudes about sexuality and responsibility surrounding sexual assault.
To put it simply: Slut-shaming and toxic views of sexuality feed into victim-blaming, thereby invalidating sexual assault survivors, normalizing abuse, and perpetuating rape culture.
How do we stop this?
We need to re-assess the societal standards for sexuality, slut-shaming, and promiscuity.
Sex is not a dirty or shameful thing: It is okay to be comfortable with your individual sexuality by processing and expressing it in an appropriate and safe way.
Being “promiscuous,” wearing revealing clothing, or being open about your sexuality does not give someone the excuse to touch you, make comments about you or your body, or make you uncomfortable.
Having an aversion to sex does not make you abnormal. Everyone is unique, and it is incredibly important to be comfortable and be able to set boundaries for yourself and others.
It’s time to come to terms with healthy sexuality through accepting and educating people about healthy, safe sexuality—and how one’s sexuality does not define them.
We need to hold perpetrators accountable, believe survivors, and place the blame where it belongs.
The perpetrator is always completely responsible for their actions. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, how you’re acting, or what you have consented to before. It is never your fault.
Believing and not blaming survivors not only creates an environment where survivors are comfortable coming forward, it creates an environment where sexual assault is recognized for what it is: illegal and unethical.
It’s time to eliminate misplaced blame: The perpetrator is the only one to blame, it is never the victim’s fault.
We need to recognize how harmful and pervasive rape culture is—not only to survivors, but to those that support them.
Slut-shaming feeds into victim blaming, which perpetuates rape culture.
Rape culture invalidates survivors and validates those that participate in the harm of sexual assault survivors (perpetrators, predators, unsupportive figures).
It’s time to believe and support sexual assault survivors—providing them a safe community to cope, report, and overcome sexual assault.
