I Am Me
By: Andrea Delgado
One common theme of recovery is self-acceptance. Finding ourselves (again), embracing change, accepting the new life we have, and falling in love with the beautiful person we are. Andrea's poem touches on these important values and reminds us that we are who we are and we should always be proud of that.
This poem—submitted by Andrea Delgado, writer for My Heart Beats New Mexico—is a beautiful reflection upon and discussion of self-acceptance. Through the good and the bad: happiness, success, trauma, insecurity, depression, anxiety, and more, Andrea has found the path to self-love and acceptance. In this poem, she leads us down this path and opens us up to a world of recognizing the beauty within our imperfections:
This is the story about a girl,
She goes by many names
Her life has been for the lack of a better word: interesting
She has had good moments
She has had bad.
She is drawn to the bad.
Ask her what she remembers about her life, and more than likely, she will bring up the bad.
She is tired of feeling unhappy, alone, depressed, anxious, living in fear.
Hopelessly trying to bury her past.
Digging and digging but no matter what she does the sand keeps falling into the hole
The constant battle between her and her demons
She grows exhausted not knowing if she should pick up the sword and continue the fight
OR
Just surrender and deal with the pain.
Desperately chasing her dreams.
The feeling of fatigue in her muscles.
The want to keep going aches bone deep.
She chooses to continue then hits barriers.
These barriers hit her like a truck.
Rejection, change of heart, being forgotten, ignored, blocked.
Picking up the shattered pieces to repave her path.
She feels lost. Not knowing what the future has in store.
Moving forward, she dreams of her future.
She can faintly see the light at the end of the tunnel.
She lives in a blurry, distorted reality.
Remembering the negative, going back to dark places she thought had disappeared.
She closes her eyes and begins to pray.
Lacing her hands, she asks God to help her see the light and help her escape.
Then, resilience.
She remembers who she is.
Deep inside she feels her soul rumbling inside.
Breaking the chains that once kept her captive.
Releasing the true potential within,
She realizes it’s okay to be lost,
Okay to not know what she wants,
Okay to make mistakes,
Okay to be a brown, full-bodied woman,
Okay to wear a larger size
She is no longer ashamed of her brown, curly hair.
She embraces her curls in fact!
She remembers she’s not a failure,
She is a success, a college graduate, a kind-hearted person, an advocate, a survivor, a writer, a dreamer, an adventurer, a co-conspirator, a Queen.
Her name is Andrea.
I am that girl, no, not a girl; a woman!
A woman who realizes that she is perfect in her own skin, and if you don’t like it, who the hell cares?
I am me!
