Fitting Out
By: Morgane Grace
In this Monday's article, Morgane shares her experience as a survivor of abuse and how that has led her to "fit out," rather than fit in, and why there's nothing wrong with that. Being survivors, it can be hard to relate to our peers that do not share our experiences: Morgane explores how survivors' different experiences allow them to grow and teach others, because we're stronger than we think.
The pressure to blend in with people around you is hard enough as it is. But once experiences have changed you, it’s even harder. Throughout school, it was always difficult for me to make friends with the kids in my classes. I was more mature, interested in different things and misunderstood.
I didn't quite understand why for most of my childhood.
Adults would tell me it was because I was an “Old Soul”. Yes, I listened to Jazz, which was extremely out of the norm for a 12-year-old. But the few people I kept close knew the real reason. I was being abused and had to grow up much faster than the kids around me. I constantly worried and lived in fear. I wasn’t playing in the school playground. I was filling out reports in my town police department. This changed who I became and made it extremely difficult for me to relate to my peers.
Other students would complain about how they “hated their parents” because they made them do homework instead of going out with friends. Or grounded them when they knew they had gone against their parents' relaxed rules. Never for the reasons I hated my father. I didn’t understand that other kids had a dad that loved them. On top of that, how they could complain about it? It blew my mind and frustrated me beyond belief!
Not being cool and “fitting out” was hard sometimes. I never had a group of friends. I didn't get invited to parties or to go get frozen yogurt. I had one or two good friends at a time, and it was all I needed because they understood me. It’s not about how many. It’s about having your one person who understands you regardless of the life you have lived.
One day we will live in a world where kids like us get to be kids. Until that day, it is our responsibility to show that we are different, but not because of our abuser.
Not everyone will understand you because they haven’t had to grow up yet, and that’s okay. When someone doesn’t understand you and where you come from, take it as an opportunity to teach and heal. One day we will live in a world where kids like us get to be kids. Until that day, it is our responsibility to show that we are different, but not because of our abuser.
We are kind, compassionate, loving, forgiving, and never a victim. We are survivors. So when you are different from the kids in your class, know it is because you are undeniably strong. Allow your strength and beauty to radiate from the inside out, regardless of those who have tried to keep you down. Every day is a gift and a chance to defy your abuser. Take your days and “fit out” because you are stronger than you realize.
